One of the biggest lessons I have learnt to date, is the fact that reality is purely subjective. Overthinking is a part of human nature, however it’s highly destructive to our experiences in life and can take away from our happiness.
William Shakespeare once wrote “there is nothing good or bad, thinking makes it so”.
Amidst the chaotic storm…A sense of clarity awaits
In order to grow in life, we must be willing to let go of our past demons. In life we have both good and bad experiences, we must be willing to grow out of these experiences. We cannot have the good without the bad. Equally we must learn to value our lives in the here and now and willing to have new experiences whilst it is possible.
The dual nature of the world shows that opposite forces can be complimentary, and seeking only positive experience can in itself be a negative experience as this hinders our ability reflect on ourselves, our thoughts and behaviour, and the impact of this on others around us.
Difficult experiences in life cause us to reflect upon ourselves and allow for an opportunity for us to review our values in life. Therefore it is important for us to accept both the positive and negative experiences in life we encounter in order to grow. Some of the most defining moments in our lives are experienced through suffering and pain. It is these experiences that define us, which are portrayed through our behaviour and emotions. Therefore it is also important for many of us to learn to portray our emotions in an authentic way, and learn to appreciate the individual experience of others in our lives.
5 Steps to happiness:
1) Own your own happiness: You must do things that make yourself at peace and happy rather than looking at the material aspects of life.
2) Challenge your own beliefs or thoughts: What you take from an experience in life may not necessarily be the truth, but often your perspective of the experience. It is important to challenge this in order to allow yourself to grow, as your own narrations can often be the biggest hinderance to your growth.
3) Enjoy your journey…the destination will come: Often in life we may delay our happiness to a later stage, for example, many people believe they will be happy when they have achieved their career goals or marriage. However, it is important to recognise that if you cannot be happy within yourselves, you can never make anyone else happy. If you do not see yourself as valuable, no one else will. Celebrate all your achievements in life! If I’ve learnt anything, it is that life is too short, and it is important for all of us to learn, grow and develop from the experiences life offers us.
4) Make all of your relationships count: The first relationship that should matter the most is our relationship with God. If this can be perfected, then life becomes that much more meaningful.
Your relationship with yourself is also important. You need to be able to like who you are as a person in order for others to like and accept you. If you cannot accept yourself, then there is a need for some personal reflection.
Only by improving our own relationship with ourselves can we improve our relationship with others, and be fruitful to others as they are to us. Surround yourselves with positive people in life, and if you feel the issue may be with yourself, it’s important to recognise that self-care is really important, and overworking ourselves can create a negative mindset. Positivity breed positivity and allows for growth, whilst a negative mindset can be a hinderance to our growth.
5) Maintaining a work-life balance: There must be an equal balance between both our professional and personal lives in order to be wholistic in yourself, as well as for others to gain a better perspective on who you actually are. Putting ourselves under too much pressure to be the ideal human being is both unrealistic and counterproductive. This is what prevents us from enjoying the journey of life.
Overall, if I’ve learnt anything is that confidence comes from accepting your own strengths and weaknesses, and opening yourself up to life whilst accepting who you are, but also accepting others and their experiences. Arguments are normal, people react to triggers, however, it is important to accept that everyone in life has their own individual experience, and one of the best pieces of advice I heard recently was: “send the message to yourself before sending it to somehow, and ask yourself, how would you feel receiving this message?” and it is so true, sometimes we may think before speaking and hurt others whether it’s intentional or not, it’s still not okay. The value of empathy has been lost in the current era, however, if we cant accept others and their values, we cannot expect to grow within ourselves.